Friday, December 7, 2007

Message from Oregon

Dear California,

The state of Oregon greatly appreciates your visiting our (insert one of the following here)…

A) Lush, Green Forests
B) Clean, Secluded Beaches
C) Snow-Covered Peaks
D) Beautiful, Wild Rivers

…we would greatly appreciate it if you would please memorize the following guidelines designed to make your visit to Oregon that much more pleasant.

1. If you find it difficult to climb into your RV, than you more than likely should not be driving it.
2. Unmarked logging roads and mountain climbing are dangerous in the middle of winter. You are more than likely going to get lost and die.
3. Don’t pick up ANY Real Estate information or visit any Real Estate establishment while you are here. There is no point as we don’t sell homes to Californians anymore.
4. Appreciate the beauty of Oregon in its entire green splendor. It’s green because we don’t litter. You shouldn’t either.

Thank you for taking this opportunity to visit our great state. Now, if you don’t mind, please go back the way you came and take your shitty oranges with you.

Thanks,
Oregon

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