Only Child

How am I supposed to forgive you?



You broke my heart. I don't have a brother.

Canon Cutie

I have new toys...

DPChallenge

FotoFight


...should keep me busy for a while.

Creative Expression FTW!!!

Tornado

Life is a giant “Auntie Em it’s a twister!” whirlwind right now. I’m exhausted between balancing my full time job, daily workouts, healthy food (aka: cardboard disguised as food), college classes, personal-emotional stress (no I’m not talking about it), my family, friends and of course my amazing boyfriend. I find myself falling asleep with the cell phone still connected and a sweet voice whispering into my headset "Goodnight mi amor". Reality and dreamland seem to have become one as I float between them in a haze of unconsciousness.

I finally have an outlet for my creative side. Twice a week now I throw forth an array of productivity in pixels and movement. I will be making a site to display this creativity but I’m uncertain whether or not I’ll share it here. I fear theft of my intellectual property in such an outlet. Sorry readers, but I’ll be frank; I don’t trust you. It’s just like that.

My daydreams have become endless amusements and are always set in summer, June to be specific, when I can finally share a first kiss with the man who owns my heart. Summer breezes blow around us and the smell of honey and flowers engage our senses. Nothing to hold back, nothing but our moment…love.

My friends, if you are looking for me during the next few months, you can find me daydreaming away behind a Oregon state computer screen, hidden behind a Canon lens, prancing around in pink satin ballet shoes, running a make-believe marathon on my treadmill or laying around lazily in the green grass with a huge smile on my face pretending that it’s June.

See you when I wake up...right now...I'm going to let this little tornado called life sweep me away.

Oregon: A Mathmatical Wonder

Sunshine through the clouds...

Oregon is having the worst spring weather in years. My sun-starved skin is pelted with blistering cold, stinging rain and a dreadfully gray cover of clouds. The sun has gone missing.

It seems that unfortunate events in my own life have brought upon the same dark clouds as the Oregon weather billowing into my usually sunny personality. My face is the sky and my tears the rain. I can’t seem to escape these old dreadful memories.

My privacy is important to me here so I will spare the details of my week of pain and desperation. I will just say that a black pit of despair intertwined with spiders, spines of steel and an ongoing Weird Al ambiance seemed like a better alternative.

Today it seemed a golden ray of God’s beautiful sunshine broke through the barriers of my thick gray clouds. There are beautiful people on earth. Someone does care and love me no matter what my past entails. A man, an amazing man, loves me for me. He’s genuine, sincere and not out to use my sensitive heart and emotions for his own benefit. This man will never raise his voice in anger at me, his hand will never strike me and his words will never betray me. I can’t help but sit here in total awe and wonder…is this for real? I feel like I’m dreaming.

After a terrible week my boyfriend (can’t believe he’s MY boyfriend…he’s too wonderful to be MY boyfriend) sent me the most beautiful arrangement of stargazer lilies in a huge wine glass vase coupled with a heart-shaped “I love you” balloon and the sweetest sentimental note. He claims that he just wanted to make me feel better about myself after having an emotionally trying week. He’s not only succeeded in painting a huge smile on my face but he’s also shown me, once again, that there really is the urban Renaissance man out there! I’ve finally found and fallen in love with him…and the beauty of it all is that he loves me back.

He really is my sunshine…and the only one who can pierce though my dark-clouded days. I love him even more for being the only one capable of doing that. I can’t thank him enough…for him.

"DIE-et?"

No one said this was going to be easy. Someone kill me now.
30 lbs and 2 sizes...gone.

Two of One Mind

Isn't obvious? I'm in LOVE. It's incredible. He's incredible.

Love is incredible!!!

While I've been dancing around with my paintbrush of words here and there in this blog I've never really came right out and talked about "him". My riddles only tell what I want them to reveal. I'm ready to tell more...and this time...I want the world to know how amazing love is when you find the one person that you are supposed to have all along.

We don't just talk to each other, we speak and listen. Hours pass us by and yet we never cross a repeat topic. Our tongues weave around silly, deep, sad, dramatic, painful, fearful, happy and exhilarating topics without hesitation of what the other will think. We place no judgment, only respect on each other's words. We finish each other's sentences and say the same things at the same time in identical tone, pitch and accentuation. It's like we share a brain.

His laughter is contagious and is like euphoric music to my heart. I can't stop smiling and when I realize I've got that same silly smile on my face I wake up out of another daydream about him. He's everything I have asked for and more that I couldn't imagine ever deserving. I'm blessed with his heart and I give him mine without fear. I know he won't break it.

Is this a dream I have to ask...when do the dark clouds come and when do I wake up in tears? For once I can honestly answer that question for myself.

Never.

Love is the beginning...and finally I know it will be the ending too. We are two of one mind and will always have each other to love.

I love you Eliseo. <8>

Mine, Mine, Mine...Monday

Monday's annoyances erupt and it appears that I need an attitude adjustment. I'll fine tune my knobs with a warm cup of caffeine-free blueberry tea, dramatically complain about my own selfish problems for a while, steal something from a friend on Packrat (http://apps.facebook.com/packrat/) and maybe then I'll feel better.

I have a beautiful home on the southern Oregon coast. It is sincerely my pride and joy as I purchased it at only 20 years of age and have managed to pay it off recently. You always remember the first time you look at a debt attached to your name over $10,000 and feel nauseous. Since moving over 200 miles away from my little paradise with an ocean view, I have been making many repairs and improvements to the home in an attempt to maintain and extend the current value. That said...here is my annoyance...

This is MY house. Yes, mine. I am very selfish.

While I appreciate the fact that many of my friends would want to visit the beautiful Oregon coast and support it's ever failing economy by frequenting the fisherman on the docks for fresh seafood and dying pubs for a frosty brew, they are also more than encouraged to support local business by getting a hotel or paying for a campsite.

Show me some respect. My house has/will never be your "free" hotel. It is not a place for you to party. It is not your romantic getaway. It is not your campsite. It is not a place to park your fishing boat. Maybe you notice the trend here and will pick up on the idea that...my house is NOT yours. Don't invite yourself and don't ask me. If I want you there I'll invite you. If I happen to invite you then consider it an honor and exercise manners by offering a gracious thank you.

Simple as that. Don't annoy me again.

Speechless

Normally I have something to say...but this week...
I can't even form words. I love you Panda!